10 Things Nobody Tells You About Becoming A Mum For The First Time

Written By, Holly Gee & Sophie Taylor, 

You can read all the books in the world, spend hours on google researching how to change a nappy, spend two mind numbingly boring hours a week at your antenatal classes, ask all your existing mummy friends for their thoughts and advice, but nothing truly prepares you for the journey of a lifetime that is, motherhood. 
So, what are the main things that we wish we were told before that big smiley face on   our pregnancy tests?

  • Lap Up All The Attention You Can Get… because as soon as your little bundle of joy arrives, give it a couple of weeks and there is no more door holding, back rubs, personal leg shaving slaves, or late night doughnut runs to satisfy your ever growing sweet tooth.
  • Discharge Is Normal … and so is sending pictures of what’s in your knickers to your fellow pregnant friends and BFF’s. So if you hadn’t already pre-pregnancy, you sure as hell will find yourself becoming a lot more open than you ever thought you would.

  • Don’t Expect Your Friends Without Babies To Understand… because they just won’t, but before you hate them and think that they are suddenly the worst friend in the world, remember it’s not their fault. They are not in the same boat as you, so humour their worries and concerns or daily gossip updates, and then once you’ve put the phone down, have a bitch fit to your husband, let it all out, run a bath and eat that cookie.

  • Start Watching Greys Anatomy… because you will have A LOT of time on your hands. And trust us, lap it all up whilst you can. Lie in bed for hours on end, don’t move unless you need to pee (which is a lot…) and enjoy the quiet time.

  • Don’t Get Caught Up On Birth Plans…don’t get us wrong, when you’re pregnant, you suddenly become the most organised and neurotic human being on the planet. You’re surrounded by copious amounts of lists from what to pack in your hospital bag, to all the canned goods stacked in size order in your cupboards, but when it comes to your birth plan, whilst it is reassuring to have an idea of what you want, don’t get yourself caught up too much, because what we have both learnt, is that births very rarely go to plan. Go with the flow, take advice and just let your body and the incredible midwives guide you.

  • Films Lie, We Can’t Deny… and whilst a full face of glam, perfectly brushed hair and one teeny, tiny bead of sweat dripping down your contoured cheek, may seem like the labour of dreams, it isn’t necessarily reality. However, the general experience of birthing your child is so incredibly moving, emotional and full of so much excitement and nerves, that screaming blame at your other half for putting you in this painful position and braking his hand in the process, and coming to terms with the fact that either your stomach or nether regions may look like a scene out of Jaws for a while, it is all only temporary and what you get out of it, is the most beautiful gift in the whole world (and we promise, you WILL look ‘normal’ again down there)!

  • Let Go Of Pride… and take all the help you can get. When you’ve made it home after the birth of your firstborn, it’s very normal to believe that nobody else can look after your baby the way that you can (and no, they probably can’t), but family especially, have been there before and if they’re willing to watch the baby to give you a couple of hours to yourself, TAKE IT. Because let us tell you, these children will probably never let you sleep a full night again until their well into their school years (soz, truth hurts). 

  • Say Goodbye To Sex And Hello To Old, Primark Pyjamas… probs should have got it all in while you can, eh? Unfortunately, unless you are one in a million, you may find your secret stash of lacy, sexy underwear may quite literally become, secret… when your partner walks through the door, your first thought isn’t to rip their pants off, but to take the baby out of your arms so that you can get yesterday’s vomit out of your hair and go to sleep (uninterrupted by no one, other than baby’s feeding time). 

  • Post-Partum Hair Is An Actual Thing… and we like to call it ‘The Mum Fringe’. During pregnancy, your hair suddenly grows inches in minutes, shines in the sun, and never seems to get greasy. Then, a couple of months after the arrival of your little one, you may start to notice a sudden loss of hair in actual clumps, clogging up the drain every time you go to wash it. And then comes the tufts of new, crazy looking hair that sprout from all the visible places on your head and no it’s not exactly pretty and you may walk around looking like you’ve been electrocuted continuously, but we promise you, it does grow out eventually (and then you have to do it all over again with the second… and if you don’t laugh you’ll cry).

  • You May Not Feel Like You For A While… but you will 100% become a better version of yourself then you ever thought possible. You may have to re-find your identity, and may have to come to terms with the fact that you aren’t the main priority anymore, but no matter how crappy your day may have been, once you’ve got through the first few months, you’ll suddenly feel like a brand new you. Confident, self worthy, more mature and the superhuman version of your old self. 

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